So happy to finally be able to post again. Over the past two weeks, I have been devoting my time on reading mostly. I am actually hooked on Pigeon Blood Red by Ed Duncan. And of course! The Trials of Apollo book two: The Dark Prophecy came out recently and I have been reading that also. I can’t wait to have Duncan’s review ready for you all to see 🙂
Click HERE to read Kester’s recent review on Caraval by Stephanie Garber.(I cannot wait to be able to read this book >.<)
Chapter 29: Selfishness and self-care are altogether different.
This one popped up as I was watching this anime Silver Spoon. I saw it on Netflix, and I decided I would give it a try. This chapter came into play as I was watching it, because the main character Hachi (I haven’t finished it yet, so I’m scared to look up his name to see how it is spelled… lol) is very much what Abaz describes in her chapter.
Constantly, Hachi is battling with himself. He thinks that he has to make everyone happy; he will do whatever he can to make others cheer up, even sacrifice his health. There was a time when he was so busy trying to get a million things done for a school festival, he fainted with fatigue as he went to go give his dog a walk. He woke up in the hospital, so scared that his friends were mad at him for leaving them to take care of the stuff he should have been there to do. He got back to school after the festival was over, and told his friends he didn’t mean to leave them, and that he didn’t deserve to go to the afterparty with them. His friends told him that he was an idiot for thinking he was going to skip the after party. They had used his very detailed notes to finish the festival which went without a hitch.
And this is what this chapter is talking about. It’s good to be selfless. It’s highly encouraged. But when is it too much? What if one day you work yourself so much you hurt yourself? Everyone needs time to care for themselves. No matter who you are.
“I have to continuously reminds myself that making me a priority is not the same thing as being selfish.”
I struggle with thinking that caring for myself is equal to being selfish. Mostly because I love helping people. I want everyone to understand that I love them, and that I’m here to help with anything they need. But I have had times when I had to say no because I just couldn’t do it. Next thing you know they quit asking me for help altogether. I don’t want people to doubt my will to help. I have been getting better at saying no lately, because I constantly tell myself I have to take care of myself.
And even on this blog, I do this. I talked with a couple friends about how I have a load of books to review. I was stressing over them. I couldn’t focus on a lot else other than getting these books read. I almost overpowered myself. I could have said no, but I didn’t. I still would have read them all, because I love to help authors with reviews and all of that, but I should have made it a note that I could not read five books at the same time. Instead, I should have said I would not get them done by this specific time more than likely. I learned my lesson.
“Nurturing ourselves makes life better… [I]t’s not either them or us; it’s them and us.”
Don’t be in a relationship where you’re constantly caring for one someone and you’re not getting anything in return. I talked with one of my friends. He told me he was always giving his friend money for gas and for other things he want, but he has not paid him back yet. That stuff makes me furious, because I have been working on myself to get out of the habit of giving to people who use me. I have to take care of myself, too, and I can’t let people run over me in that way. Make your friendship, boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and “them and us,” not a “them or us.”
Take care of yourself, take care of others. Love on them, but also love on yourself.
Chapter 30: “Beluga is my Beethoven,” said the 90-year old Betty White to Anderson Cooper.
In this chapter, Abaz told the story about how she was stuck in a bad storm with her family. Popped in a Beethoven CD and everyone fell asleep through the storm.
And I related this to my faith, honestly. When things get horrible, and I have no idea what to do, I immediately turn to God. I ask him for help. I ask him to make the pain go away. I want to fall asleep and wake up to see everything fine again.
The problems don’t go away. They don’t just disappear into thin air, and I’m left all happy again, but I do feel a better joy in what I’m going through. Through putting my faith in the Lord, and just letting him guide me through, it makes me stronger. I feel myself growing a better confidence that I can get through it. I am not alone; God won’t just walk away.
So yeah, I guess God is my Beethoven. I encourage others to take him as your Beethoven as well. He’s gotten me through times in my life just by being there. He made the problems seem not so bad. Praise be to Him and His glory.
Who is your Beethoven as of right now? Who gets you through the storms, and distracts you from the scary noises? Bestfriend? Parents? Siblings? Actors? Singers?
“When we woke up, the storm had cleared and daylight had returned as if uninterrupted.”